The Grand Canyon as a Metaphor...Or, Reflections after 4 Weeks on the Road

Imagine, the grandeur of the Grand Canyon, one of the great wonders of the world.  Finally arriving after making the decision it is worth the extra time in the car.  We pull up to the visitor centre and walk to the look off. Breathtaking. Staggering. The scale incomprehensible.  Now add in trying to walk around the rim path with a 6 year old in a foul mood, hitting, pulling and whining as streams of Japanese tourists walk by; the 13 year old wracked with vertigo and a firm refusal to go anywhere near the look-offs; a 10 year old who at this point in time is eager to explore and hike, but that could change on a dime; and two forty-somethings questioning why we thought this was a good idea. ... Life, nor this trip, is not always a perfect instagram moment.  And for us the first experience of the Grand Canyon was definitely less than picture perfect.  But, as I have hoped it would be, this trip allows for the experiences of everyday life as a family be amplified, both the good and the bad, and from that we are learning, bit by bit.

 The lessons of the Grand Canyon were:
1) Yes, you should just go see it. (whatever IT is).  There is a reason it is a wonder of the natural world.  ... Now that may be in exact defiance of my other learning that sometimes you just DON'T go see it, but hey, who wants rules that are hard and fast.

2) Learning can come from the most unexpected experiences.  At the campground after dinner the kids made friends with a teenage girl who was travelling with her family and came over and introduced herself.  They wandered around the campground together and we all ended up at their campfire sharing s'mores and talking. It was GOOD for the kids to meet other people and understand that time shared with others can be enjoyable, but you can't have that without extending yourself.  It was GOOD for the kids to hang out with the other kids, including the older brother who has a developmental disability and is different than other people they know.  It was GOOD for the kids to be friendly to others and to see that the world of others isn't always a scary place. It was GOOD to see how other campers came by and joined the circle, and to hear their stories of travel and camping. And it was GOOD for the parents to sit with their fears about their kids meeting strangers and figuring out what is reasonable worry and how to mitigate it (i.e. go over and meet the rest of the family and make sure the story is legit) but also let them have the experience of meeting new people.

3) Fear is a powerful emotion and knowing how to support yet push yourself, your partner or your child through it is challenging.  When do you say, "yup the Grand Canyon causes even those without a fear of heights to go weak in the knees so we can just enjoy it from here, on this bench" versus pushing to go on the hike, just go a bit further, no a little further yet....  How do you honour a person's fears while still encouraging them to be courageous and go beyond them?  What do you do when you realize that a month of conquering fears is about to end on a note of "I can't do it?".  

I don't know what is the right answer, but I can tell you that we did hike 1.5 miles down into the canyon and then back up.  There were tears.  There were sweaty palms and shaking knees.  I don't think there was enjoyment, but there was accomplishment and there was courage.

view from the trail

Walking back up towards the rim

Vios looking out at the view from the trail

Vios running on the trail

Views from the trail

3) The Grand Canyon is almost so grand it is hard to digest.  It feels more like something to be observed than experienced.  Sometimes the biggest or most beautiful are too perfect or too much to feel accessible.  The flip side of this is that the smaller quiet moments of life are often the ones that can be most real, if you stop long enough to realize they are happening.  On this trip so far I can see that, yes the sights are grand, the museums are cool, but it is the giggles over something silly in the backseat, or the time scrunched together for heat in sleeping bags in the freezing cold, or seeing a jack rabbit run zigzagged alongside us on a dirt road, that are most real and profound.

4) We are all hardy campers.  All 5 of us should be really proud of how we managed in a small space for 4 weeks, camping in cold weather, with lots of unknowns.  And we are ready for a change of pace and to say BYE to the Jucy Van.