Angkor With Kids: A Cautionary Tale

I almost titled this blog post “Angkor Wat; The stop that almost broke me.” But it was just a tad too melodramatic for my personality.  That said, there were moments during our 5 days in Cambodia that I thought “Yup, this is definitely a stop for the adults, not the kids.”  And that is completely, 100% fine except that it made for some less than enthralling moments WITH the children. It was HOT.  REALLY HOT. Stinky hot.  And ruins, no matter how majestic and imbued with history require a stretch of the imagination to bring to life that is perhaps difficult for younger minds to grasp.  And crowds.  Oh the crowds.  Add to that some traveler’s diarrhea that was tipping over into something more, general travel fatigue, perhaps a bit excessive parental focus on “learning” about the history of the temple complex and the Cambodian genocide, and you’ve got a recipe for the highlight called “Angkor With Kids”.

The numbers may not look hot.  But there is a little something called humidity that changes a temperature to "feels like" ... basically, add a few degrees, or 10 and you get the temperature it actually felt like.

Angkor is an incredible temple complex in Cambodia that dates back hundreds of years, spanning the 8th to 15th centuries.  It was originally constructed as a Hindu temple during the Khmer Empire’s reign, and then was transformed into a Buddhist Temple in the late 12^th century.  It is one of the largest religious monuments in the world and comprises not only of the most recognizable Angkor Wat main temple, but numerous surrounding sites. 

Images of Angkor temples are iconic as a beacon for exotic travel, first appearing as a hard to reach and exotic destination, then featured in adventure movies, and more recently as glamorous Instagram selfies with the rising sun over soaring temples.  Leo and I both had had a long time itch to go to Cambodia, but did not make it there on our pre-kids travel.  We knew that Cambodia had become a popular destination and figured now was the time to go, especially as we were next door in Vietnam.  I think we, or at least I, thought it was such a “magical” “mystical” “majestic” place that there was NO WAY the kids could not be wowed and inspired by these ancient ruins.  Ha.

Waiting in Hanoi on layover to Siem Reap.

We arrived in Siem Reap from central Vietnam, weary after a long travel day, only to be greeted at our hotel with the question “so, will you be going to Angkor Wat at sunrise tomorrow?”.  Um, no…. Wait, should we?"  "Oh yes, tomorrow is the Spring Equinox, a very special time to see the sun rise.  Thousands of people have come just to see this event." “Oh, okay, well what time would we have to go?”  “Madame, you would need to leave the hotel at 4:30 am to go get tickets and then go to the temple.” “Oh, um, wait, let us confer.”  Crap.  A decision. Yet another moment of “will we miss out if...”.  Leo and I and my folks, who were still traveling with us, talked it over. The general consensus was, “well, we are here to see the temples, I guess we should just jump in” mixed with “it would probably be silly to be here for the equinox and not go.” So we said yes.  And then 4 a.m. came very early.

The gang heads out in the dark.  We look good for 4 a.m.!

Here the narrative takes two divergent paths depending on if it is Leo or I telling it, but since I am writing I get to tell you mine.  I think that perhaps this was not the best introduction to the whole idea of 3 days exploring Temple Ruins.  It was extremely hard to rally the troops out of bed in the middle of the night (I am still being mocked by Leo and the kids for clapping my hands to try to get them out of bed) and then it made for a long wait waiting for the sun to peek its way over the spires.  Then, at least for me, it was ANTICLIMACTIC because, at least to my eye, on this equinox the sun was a bit off to the side, not directly on top of the central spire, which is what I was expecting. Perhaps I was a bit cranky by the time the sun actually rose and was too nit picky, but I thought it would be akin to the incredible snake of sun that climbs down the pyramid steps of Chichen Itza on the Equinox.  Now that is an impressive meeting of sun and dates and ancient architecture. Perhaps I am reminded once again of unrealistic expectations? Okay, I am being a negative nelly and remembering the complaining of “why are we here?  How much longer?  Can we go now?  I am HOT (it was only 6 am!)”, looking back, the pictures are incredible, and it was a once in a lifetime experience to see the sunrise over Angkor Wat. Perhaps telling, I would indeed tell you to go see the sunrise, just maybe not on your first day.  After that epic first day that was over before we are usually out of bed we retreated to the pool at the hotel and planned out the rest of our stay.

The reflection pool.  Sol stood for more than an hour, in the crowd, to get this shot at the edge of the pond.

We were but a few of many there to celebrate the Equinox.

This guy (my dad) finds a quiet moment to offer reverence to the moment.

Meanwhile, I am not so reverent ... I was annoyed that it was a big deal to make it there on this particular morning, yet the sun wasn't actually aligned. Isn't that the whole point of the being there on the equinox?
What does this tell you about me!?  Or maybe I was just distracted by the under 70 set... 

Yes, he is picking at his sister, literally. 
She is trying to ignore him for the picture.

Heading back to hotel at 7am.

The next day, with a guide, a van and a plan to see some of the highlights we ventured forth.  The day started optimistically.  We went the opposite way from the usual circuit.  And yes, there is a circuit that most guides follow.  Instead we started at Angkor Thom, another ancient "city" that is part of the Angkor Archaeological park, at the 12th century Bayon Temple.  This temple is notable for the all the smiling faces staring down at you from every direction.  There are 54 towers decorated with 216 faces as well as many intricately carved bas-relief. The effect is beguiling as you cannot walk anywhere without a face peering down at you, an almost smile at edges of the stone lips.  Some faces are peering down, others at eye level.  As we walked towards the temple, passing the row of statues lining the road leading to the huge entryway, the kids excitedly pointed out the carvings they saw and I triumphantly thought, "Yes!  My kids are into this.  We are so going to enjoy this as a family."

And then, we started bumping into crowds. There were people everywhere. And it started getting hotter.  And hotter. And interest started to wane.  

Oh my *** it is hot.  Why does the guide keep telling us stuff!?
Oh right, my mom and Papou keep asking him questions.

V started simply walking around with his little hand held fan if front of his face. 
At some point even that didn't help.
(This is at Ta Prohm)

So we headed to our next stop, the atmospheric Ta Prohm temple, recognizable as the site of the Tomb Raider movie and countless mesmerizing photographs.  Ta Prohm is being devoured by the jungle, with huge roots draped over crumbling walls and trees growing through windows.  It looks much like all the ruins would have looked when first rediscovered by archaeologists.  I thought there was no way that this stop could not entrance the kids.  Jungle, crumbling walls.  Heck we even showed them some scenes from Tomb Raider to get them excited.  

Indeed we did all love Ta Prohm.  It is truly atmospheric and captivating.  It is also jam packed with people.  One of the challenges that Cambodia has yet to deal with in an effective way is the vast number of people who descend on the temples every day.  There is no cap for how many people can enter nor is there any staggering of entry times or limit to group size.  You get huge swarms of people all jostling and pushing through narrow ancient entryways and waving selfie sticks to get the requisite picture.  A low point was when one of the kids unknowingly stepped in front of a man taking a photo, and the man yelled and cursed at our kid.  I went mama-bear on him and said he is not to talk to my kid like that (he was a fellow North American) and later he did come and apologize, but really now.

We were now at hour four of being out in the heat and it was time for a break.  We stopped for lunch and made a plan.  Yia Yia enthusiastically volunteered to go back to the hotel with the kids while Leo, my dad and I headed back out in the afternoon by ourselves with our guide. We headed back to Angkor Wat as we had had limited opportunities to explore it after the sunrise the day prior.  This proved to be a wonderful decision because most people were on the typical "circuit" which has them start at Angkor Wat and proceed to the other temples later in the day, thus when we arrived it was relatively empty.  Another cool twist was that our guide took us in through the back entrance.  Since we had walked through the majestic front entrance the prior morning we were not missing out on the experience, and instead we got the rare opportunity of approaching Angkor Wat in virtual solitude.

Walking towards Angkor Wat. Not a soul in sight!

This is us with our guide.  How cool!

I feel like I have not done justice describing the importance and grandeur of Angkor Wat since I quibbled about the sunrise experience.  So, to frame the immense importance of this temple I will quote from The Lonely Planet Cambodia guide:

"Angkor Wat is, figuratively, heaven on earth. It is the earthly representation of Mt Meru, the Mt Olympus of the Hindu faith and the abode of ancient gods. The ‘temple that is a city’, Angkor Wat is the perfect fusion of creative ambition and spiritual devotion. The Cambodian god-kings of old each strove to better their ancestors’ structures in size, scale and symmetry, culminating in what is believed to be the world’s largest religious building, the mother of all temples, Angkor Wat.

The temple is the heart and soul of Cambodia: it is the national symbol, the epicentre of Khmer civilisation and a source of fierce national pride. Soaring skyward and surrounded by a moat that would make its European castle counterparts blush, Angkor Wat was never abandoned to the elements and has been in virtually continuous use since it was built."

Okay now, so in the quiet of the afternoon, without kids in tow, and without crowds at every turn I felt like I was really able to get into absorbing the amazing-ness of the space.  In fact, I felt like it was a true gift to be able to spend a few quiet hours in this space.

We climbed up the very steep steps to the upper level of the temple called the Bakan.  Our guide told us that earlier in the day there would have been hundreds of people in line waiting to ascend.  We were able to walk right up and I was not only thankful to not have crowds to contend with while exploring the upper level, but extremely thankful there was no one pushing or shoving on the way down the stairs!  I know I keep harping about crowds, either that they are present or that they are not, but it does change the tone and rhythm of visiting the temples.  Feeling a spaciousness of physical space allowed for a spaciousness of time.  There was no rush.  We were free to sit, to pause, to gaze out, to study details, to imagine the temples imbued with life many centuries ago.  

Looking back out over the entrance to the temple.

The higher you go in the temple, the closer to heaven.

We were able to linger over every bas-relief that surrounds the base of the temple. This is definitely something the four people now back at the hotel would not have enjoyed in as much detail as the three of us!

The carvings tell the stories of kings and gods as well as everyday life. 

On another day Yia Yia and Papou went off exploring on their own.  They ventured further afield and had a long and hot day exploring a more remote temple and an impactful stop at the Cambodian War museum.  The next morning they hung out at the hotel with the kids so Leo and I could explore Banyon one more time on our own.

These two were awesome adventurous travelers. 
It was loads of fun to share a slice of the trip with them!

The rest of our time in Siem Reap was mostly spent in the pool cooling off.  

We ventured into the center of town a few times in the evening.  As in many countries in South East Asia, the common mode of transport were Tuk-Tuks. In Cambodia they are a small passenger trailer pulled by a motorbike.  Other than haggling over the price, the rides to and from were fun, weaving through traffic and taking in the world as it zoomed by.

Once in the center of town we were quite overwhelmed by the intensity of the tourist scene.  We knowingly dropped right into the heart of the scene, roamed the streets lined with stalls selling trinkets, juices, food.  We wandered through a large market that was a labyrinth of stalls selling clothing, knockoff watches, electronics, handicrafts.  After a while the sameness of the wares became hypnotic.  I was awed by the sheer volume of goods that each little stall held.  Even though I have been in innumerable markets over my years of travel I was struck this time by the puzzle of how someone was able to make a living selling trinkets or how they could finance having such large inventory.  

I know we did not see the real Cambodia.  We flew into Siem Reap and went to the country's main tourist destination that attracts over 2 million visitors a year.  The city itself appears to exist to serve the tourist industry and we made no effort to get off the beaten track.  So it is with caveats and apologies that I say that we did not really enjoy the Cambodia that we experienced.  There is no doubt that the ruins were astonishing and worth seeing, but coming on the heels of 3 weeks in Vietnam, we missed the warmth of the Vietnamese people and culture.  As a family we had many talks about why this was.  It was an interesting contrast given that both countries had experienced brutal wars.  However, horrific facts kept circling in my mind: in a 3 year period the Khmer Rouge devastated the country and decimated the population by 25%, draining the country of their thinkers, scientists, teachers, artists, religious leaders.  Family relationships were forbidden and showing emotions such as love and empathy was not allowed.  It was as recent as January 1979 that this ended, when the Vietnamese army invaded and the Khmer Rouge leaders fled into the jungle.  For all intents and purposes the massacre was over, but such intense devastation and deprivation must leave deep deep scars on a people that takes more than a generation to repair.  I am not a scholar or even that knowledgeable about the history of this part of the world, I probably even got some of my facts and hypotheses wrong, but I know the broad strokes of history and I know that it was gruesome.  I also know that much of the world ignored what was happening, whether out of ignorance or avoidance.  So, when I feel like a pampered tourist saying I didn't love my interactions with the Cambodia that I saw I remind myself of my good fortune to be born when and where I was. I am overwhelmed with compassion and appreciation for a country and its people that are still emerging from the shadow of a horrible legacy.  Yet again the beauty of travel is it provides endless opportunities to experience gratitude.  And for this I say thanks and yet once again wish for peace for all sentient beings. I hope that the conversations that we had with the kids about wars and genocides nestles somewhere in their minds and that the memories of our time in Cambodia will spark something, whether compassion for others, or an appreciation for history or even a desire to know more.  I am glad we included this stop.  I am glad I got to see the wonders of Angkor.  I am not sure if the awesomeness of the ruins in terms of architecture and history was grasped by the kids.  And it is totally fine if it was not.